even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
