i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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