Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
