So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
