we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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