Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
