I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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