my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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