We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize