does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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