Cold hands, warm shart.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize