who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think I just sharted jello shots
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