Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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