bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
