I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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