I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize