If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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