didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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