Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
