addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize