Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
