didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
