I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
