I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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