its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
