My hand turned me down
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
