Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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