Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
