I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
