The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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