did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
