my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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