just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
