Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
