therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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