I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
