I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize