'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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