I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
