You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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