this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
