I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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