I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
