Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
