Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
