Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
