I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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