He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We left the knife in your bed.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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