Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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