omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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