I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
