just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
