Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
