all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
is it fun? or sober?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
