I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sarcasm needs its own font
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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