Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
