You're my little dorito
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
