i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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