I'm gonna have a badass scar
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
