My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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