Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the day after is always just damage control
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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