The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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