you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
