kristin has been a bad kristin
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't deserve a penis
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
